Dating Information

Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed


Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in your quest for meeting singles. These can range from an event that yields several nice interactions and at least one offer to get together for a date, to going home feeling frustrated and convinced you are destined to be a dating failure.

If you had made a note of your mood, your general attitude, your level of comfort, (and other related factors) after each experience, you would have some very useful information. For the attributes you carry along with you to these social gatherings will have a great impact on the outcome of each.

The following are tips for helping you to present the best you to others. As you read each, do a quick inventory of how you rate in that area. It's always helpful to ask friends to weigh in with their observations. The more information, the better.

1. Present yourself as confident and in possession of a healthy self-esteem.

In general, people are attracted to those who appear confident and who feel good about themselves. Certainly, this is a turn-on for you as well. If you feel desirable and sexy, it makes sense that others will too.

If low self-esteem is a problem for you, this should be the first area you work on in yourself. It is not necessary to have over the top confidence, just a sense that you are someone that has a lot of positives to offer others.

Do some reading, take a class that teaches assertiveness and/or practice daily affirmations. Remember also that when you treat yourself with respect and adhere to healthy boundaries with others, you will foster a healthy sense of self.

2.Be Yourself

NEVER try to be someone you are not. Not only do you come across as insincere, you also will present as uncomfortable and make others feel this way right along with you.

Trying to be cool, aggressive, (etc.), generally just makes you awkward and unapproachable. Relax, be natural, be the you that your friends and others who know and like you, see and appreciate.

Think back to the times you have witnessed someone "acting" in a social situation, and the general reaction of those around them. Then think about the people you know who are good at meeting others. These are the people who present their true (best) side.

3. Smile and Show Enthusiasm

Certainly you have encountered strangers who were sullen and appeared negative and unapproachable. A smile can change all that.

Have an open and inviting expression. Make good eye contact. People are DRAWN to others like this. Let that attractive stranger know you are open to meeting them and happy to be there. If they have an interest back, this will pave the way for a first interaction.

If you don't feel like smiling it may be a good idea to sit this one out at home with a movie or a good book or a low-key get together with a good friend.

4. Present Your Best Appearance

Always make your best effort in your grooming and choice of clothing. Attractive is just that. It's not about having beautiful features or a fantastic body. It's all about presenting what you have in the best light possible.

This also includes presenting an attractive personality. Be friendly, not pushy. Be open, not indiscreet. Have opinions, don't be a know-it-all. Always remember to consider others' feelings and needs. These interactions are not just about you.

5. Have Some Good Openings Lines Available

Hint: Natural conversation is best.

Some possible ones to consider:

*Do you know so and so?

*I noticed you were enjoying the music a lot, isn't this a great band?

*Your drink looks good- what is it?

*I noticed you standing here alone and thought you may want some company.

Of course, the direct approach is ok too.

*Hi, I'm so and so, what is your name?

Remember that there are no rules anymore about who goes first. If you see someone who interests you, go for it. Just remember that they may not return your feelings. Then you move away gracefully, look around for someone else that attracts you, and make an overture towards them.

Also remember that rejection is part of the process. If you let the fear keep you from taking that first step, you will greatly lessen your chances of meeting and connecting with compatible singles.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.


MORE RESOURCES:

Forbes

What The CEO Of An Exclusive Dating App Wants You To Know About Launching In A Crowded Market
Forbes
When Amanda Bradford came up with the idea for The League, an ultra-exclusive dating app, everybody from her Stanford professors to prospective investors tried to convince her to pursue something else. “The dating space is crowded. It's very low ...



The Verge

Dating app Hinge is rewarding successful couples with 'milestone' gifts
The Verge
If you've successfully navigated the hellscape that is modern app-driven dating (in this case, specifically the Hinge plane), the company has a reward in store for you. Hinge is running a weeklong online promotion in which couples who met on the app ...
Hinge is giving couples who met on the app free gifts for relationship milestonesDaily Mail

all 3 news articles »


Engadget

Dating app Badoo adds video chat to help you filter out creeps
Engadget
Dating apps have been slow to adopt video functionality. Big shot Tinder bought a video service in February but hasn't announced plans to add its functionality, while Hinge just included user-made movie clips for profiles -- a feature that Badoo ...



Men's Health

There's a Reason You're Striking Out on Dating Apps, But Here's How to Fix It
Men's Health
Finding love in the age of modern technology can be just plain difficult, swiping through people's dating app profiles only to get no reciprocation. We get it, we've been there. New data from the dating app Hinge has shown that only a small segment of ...
This Group Of Guys Struggles With Dating Apps, But Don't Feel Too Sorry For ThemElite Daily

all 2 news articles »



TMZ.com

Lexy Panterra I Didn't Betray Bella Thorne By Hooking Up with Gregg
TMZ.com
Gregg and Lexy have started dating and were spotted out together for the first time in public doing a little shopping on Monday. Bella and Lexy co-starred in the Tyler Perry flick, "Boo! A Madea Halloween," only a year ago ... when Bella was still ...
Gregg Sulkin Reportedly Dating Bella Thorne's Former Costar, Lexy PanterraTeenVogue.com

all 16 news articles »


Metro US

Kendall Jenner dating Blake Griffin? (NSFW pics, photos)
Metro US
Kendall Jenner could possibly be dating Los Angeles Clippers star Blake Griffin (NSFW pics, photos). This summer Blake Griffin could have gone to Oklahoma City or Boston to chase a title, instead he chose to stay in LA to chase tail. Twice in the past ...
Kendall Jenner Sparks New Dating Rumors with Another Basketball StarHarpersBAZAAR.com
Is Kendall Jenner Dating NBA Star Blake Griffin? | Very Real - OxygenOxygen (blog)
Kendall Jenner & Blake Griffin Hard to Hide We're Hanging OutTMZ.com
Page Six -PEOPLE.com -New York Daily News -Daily Mail
all 54 news articles »


Egypt archaeologists discover tombs dating back 2000 years
ABC News
Egypt's antiquities ministry says that archaeologists have discovered three tombs dating back more than 2,000 years, from the Ptolemaic Period. The discovery was made in the Nile Valley province of Minya south of Cairo, in an area known as al-Kamin ...

and more »


Quartz

These statistics show why it's so hard to be an average man on dating apps
Quartz
Dating apps are tough on the middle-of-the-road guy. If you are not one of the most desirable men on the app, you probably are not getting much attention. Aviv Goldgeier, an engineer for the dating website Hinge, recently analyzed the share of “likes ...



Hollywood Life

Chris Pratt Swearing Off Dating After Anna Faris: Wants To Drown Himself In Work & Fatherhood
Hollywood Life
Chris Pratt may be one of Hollywood's hottest stars — who's also newly single — but that doesn't mean he'll be flaunting his new bachelor status anytime soon. We exclusively learned the actor has zero interest in dating! While we're sure many women ...

and more »

Google News

home | site map
© 2006